I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
