he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
