wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
