There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
