She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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