She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so let's talk penis.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
