1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
