try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Girls should come with a carfax report
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
