I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
