There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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