That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
