after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
