; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize