I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
