shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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