Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
