i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
