why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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