hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
