this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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