Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
