Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
