I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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