Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What changed your mind?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If I die, sorry about rent.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.