I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..