I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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