Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
