you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
