Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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