So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
