I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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