After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
