I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Welp...herpes.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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