We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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