two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
