the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
