i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
im on a boat
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