Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
