last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
