I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
