The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
