how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i will never coherently bang her
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
