i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize