Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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