I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
