found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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