Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
