If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
