i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
