Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize