So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
