don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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