hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
