this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Let's paint friendship bongs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
