the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
