I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
