yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
