Kiss
Puke
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
a search helicopter?!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
