do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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