Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
