his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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