I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
