Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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