You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
