that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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