Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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