What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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