I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
