gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
